Just Great!

Vacation at last!! It’s been quite a while since I had more than 3 hours of sleep. There is more catching up to do. Editing was tough, but not as pocket-breaking as before. At least there are pennies left for me to enjoy summer, haha, if I could. At least I will have a little more time for myself now, pampering even my smallest nail and shortest hair, well speaking of hair, I need some trim, my hair, my nails, and everything in me that grows is constantly reminding me that I am alive. Back to long haired dottie, same old me…sigh. I wonder what happened to ____. Feeling the long hair now? Well, doesn’t fit you anyway. After being bombarded with so many projects, finals, activities, it’s time for me to look back now. Being one of the organizers of the CAS tribute was exhausting yet the feeling of joy is there, and sadness, of course, would never fail to cross my mind, knowing that the people I usually see walking in the corridors of our home floor, the people I am usually with whenever we practice a new dance for a performance or a play for a production, they are the people who’ll leave the portals of the school and continue on with their lives. It’s so touching to see them cry after watching the clip I’ve prepared with Manong dollar and Ms. Eltee. It’s so amazing how I realize those four years is that simple and that short, but long enough to gain those memories. Then again, life continues, and who knows, our paths may cross again and when that time comes, memoirs will all linger and it’s nice to reminisce. Well, red heads, lilac people and blue educators, though I have not shared a lot of memories to the blue and lilac, still you are a part of my life, still you were able to cross my life even once, even in a single photo I put in the clip. The moment I saw your faces, you were already there, in my heart and it will stay with me forever. And life goes on, practicum is fast approaching, I have less than a month to be back to the mainstream. No worries this time, I hope. Life is great and God is good, so why worry? After all, the two defense and presentations we surpass is enough for us to say that we beat it and we did not mess around. There are so many things in my mind right now, clamoring to be written, to be voiced out, and I can’t seem to fit them all here. All I know is that this sem was great, exhausting, expensive, exhilarating, bombarding and the like (you just go on until you’re done with all the adjectives). Achievements are present, and I am thankful to God for all of those. I can’t say that it is my favorite sem, but it would probably be the next to my favorite. In short, the whole of my third year as a Comm. Arts student was the most remarkable and noteworthy. Need not to mention everything because I can’t seem to put them in words, I just know that it’s here, deep within me. I am not a novice when it comes to expressing myself in words, everyone knows that, I am a rationale person and I want everything to be explained further, but this time, I guess words are improper. I think this is the time when they say that you need not talk, it just lingers and it shows even if people can’t read minds.

~Unfaithful~

A while ago I just remembered someone, someone whom I only saw just recently and I don’t know what I should feel. Should I be mad? Poignant? Or simply accept that it happened and it was meant to happen, and even I cannot stop it. I guess the good Lord arranged it just the way it should be… but I’ve been wanting to ask, was it good? Was it better? Are you aware of the pain that you caused to a person who has totally no idea of what you’ve done, until sometime when she just broke down? I was wondering, why is it that those kind of people exist in this world? I do not hate them, nor do I care, but I do feel and that feeling is prevailed by pain. I couldn’t even remember when it happened, because I’ve been wanting to get it out of my system, but it just can’t. I couldn’t understand if knowing more details would content me or will hurt me more or knowing less would intrigue me or help me move on. As usual, the course of my life is controlled by the good Lord, and still He preferred me knowing more and even knowing it from other people which hurt me, immensely. Two years ago, if I’m not mistaken, I was hurt knowing what happened between my man a this person, but at the same time thankful to a someone who cared, and I guess I appreciate his courage of telling me the truth, more often than not, I do appreciate honest people, especially with me. I didn’t even had the chance to know the details, the person, her whereabouts, etc. just now, I knew everything, and I still continue to know more, which is something I do not understand, really, I don’t. I do not know Jecel? Not even once did I get the chance to see her face, and now I did, and it doesn’t strike me. I don’t know if I will pity her for being so vulnerable and gullible, I don’t know if I would laugh at her because she was only used just like the others who were involved before her, or even to thank her for being an instrument for my man to learn what the game of life is all about. Now, I just cannot answer the question why? Why did He let the memories some back, to forgive? I’ve realized, people cannot be trusted, even the people dearest to you, and not everyone would care to let you know something you ought to know, what hurts me more is the fact that during that time, a lot of people knew, but they just let me take a fool out of myself, just hang me roughly clueless of what’s happening when I’m not around. She knew I existed, she knew who I am, yet she still chose to be a toy, being played by the mouse when the cat is not around. It’s not my choice anyway, it’s hers. And she felt comfortable lying around, even asking about me, I am not really surprised, I just wonder if she doesn’t feel used, unless she wanted to be used. But then, everything’s just a game, and unfortunately for her, she had no permanent teammate. But what she got is an able opponent. They say that forgiveness should be given for you to be free, I guess that is the purpose of all of these. But before I get these out of my chest, I just want her to know that I was aware all along, she didn’t made a fool out of me, but a fool of herself, after all, she got nothing out of nothing at all.

~softdrink?~

Hey, i just read something about sofdrinks, i don't know how true it is, but somehow, it makes sense. Softdrink is a good cleaner, it helps clean toilet bowls, greasy clothes and even cars, but is it really good for our health? why do we really drink them? sofdrinks ahs the acidity of 3. 4 which is strong enough to dissolve teeth and bones...I also read that a group ofstudents put a tooth in a bottle of softdrink and after 10 days, the tooth dissolved. It could be quite alarming to realize that maybe, we are drinking something that would shorten our lives. Knowing that teeth, nails and bones are the parts of our body which dissolve several years after our death. Freaky isn't it... I just got alarmed and it really struck me after reading that mail. I hope we could find a solution for that or might as well spread the learning, so as to prove if it is true or not, it's also unfair to softdrink companies to just spread a black propaganda against them right? It's quite a good thing that i don't often drink those beverages because i have a hyper acidity, it would already kill me to drink too much of softdrinks...sigh. P.S. the mail also included a story about a certain University in New Delhi, a competion of softdrink was held there and the winner who drank 8 bottles of softdrink died on the spot because of too much carbon dioxide and lack of oxygen...not alarming enough?

~photography101~

The very first photo I developed and printed is here!!! Of course with Manong Manny’s assistance…he’s the best! It really felt good to be able to produce such contact print, and 3 photos… so promising! Hehehe. I really can’t describe the feeling especially when the image slowly comes out as I soak it in the fixer! Wow…such a great achievement! Photography is the best! Though there were hindrances before I came out with those photos, still hope was there! Thanks to my neyney’s SLR camera. Mwuah! Looking forward to making my first sepia print!! Watch out for it!

~A simple and peaceful day~

simple and peaceful day it was! I’ve always loved the rain…I don’t know why, probably it’s because I was born during this season, but what I really know is that I love it when the rain pours while I am left at home, eating or drinking anything hot, most especially when you are with someone you really love. What a sense of satisfaction. What a relief after a tiring day. it's all about havin' what you've long waited for.

Happy Thoughts...ain't it??

Think of happy thoughts…that is what peter pan told Wendy for her to be able to fly… *sigh* if only I could do that… well, maybe in some ways I could. I couldn’t fly, but I could think of happy thoughts and it’s as good as flying. It’s been quite a while since I gathered my thoughts again. Having experienced 3 days and 2 nights of leadership Training at Laguna, I guess, it made me apprehend some things in my life per se. one, that there are a lot of things to be thankful for, my family, my loved one, my friends and all the people that surrounds me. My environment as well is something to be thankful for. I have my pet dogs which I could cuddle and play with after a tiring day, with that look in their face as if they are asking me how my day was and begging me to play with them, so sweet. Those are only some of the things I should be thankful for. Second, that sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are, or who you want to become. You never know who this people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you’ll know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful and unfair at first, but in reflection, you’ll find that without overcoming these obstacles, you will never have realized your potential, strength, and will power of heart. Third, and hopefully not the last lesson in my life is that “everything happens for a reason”. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Injury, illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. There will be no ending in the school called life, so here’s what I’m going to leave out for you, learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

~Kumbaya~

A great and exhilarating leadership training it was…I earned new friends and new skills as well..hehe…kumbaya everyone!!! watch out for the greatest story ever told...

make up for busy days...sleep and sleep and sleep....leaderster is the best!!!

One Fine Day

I bought myself three tops tops today, well it was actually my mother's money, you know the deal... so, two pretty "pa-girl" pink blouses, one chosen by my mom amd the other, of course, the "so dottie" style, and a simple round-neck shirt...i guess those were just some of the consolations that i got for having a couple of "not-so-good" days. Well, i guess it paid off anyway...now i just have to let this out of me...people do make mistakes which we must forgive, and if they don't realize their faults right away, worry not, for somewhere along their busy lives, something or someone will make them see their shortcomings in the past. there are also some fortunate poeple who realizes things before it's too late, and when you see their effort to change, but you cannot forgive, at the end of the day, it becomes your own shortcoming and incapacity. You will end up carrying all the burdens and he is the one relieved of the sin. Now, that took a lot of guts...whew!

All the wonders you seek are within yourself...